I’m Still Here …

Hello, my dear reader!

Wow, it’s been more than five months that I launched this blog, and—concurrently with this—the only three articles on which I had worked for more than six months. After the release of the blog, I was so worn out and tired that I didn’t continue publishing new blog posts. This entire blog project went wronger than wrong, if you know what I mean. I hadn’t planned it that way. I wanted to put all my heart and soul into it. However, I made many mistakes that I realized during the last five months.

In this blog post I’ll tell you what mistakes I’m talking of, and in what way I want to give the blog a second chance.

Photo by Ylanite Koppens on Pexels.com

A New Idea Was Born

The idea of this blog was born in a rush of dopamine. Let me be honest with you, I’m suffering from a mental disease called schizoaffective disorder, bipolar type. That means, that I sometimes go through manic episodes. Mania is an extreme euphoria, coming along with racing thoughts, highly increased creativity and productivity, a lower need of sleep, a high risk of spending too much money, an exaggerated opinion of yourself and your skills, a heavy thirst for action, and more.

In a night in May 2020, I suffered from such a manic episode. By this time, my Tumblr blog “The Introvert’s Lifestyle” that I had created in 2013 to share links, memes, and other stuff about introversion, had more than 20,000 followers. I wanted a new adventure in my life, so I came up with the idea of a huge project: creating a website where I share articles like Introvert, Dear does, with a biweekly newsletter. Besides, I wanted to write a book about my life as an introvert, and created a loooong list of all the books I wanted to read and all the things I needed to research. I had so many plans, so many great ideas, so much energy to spend on this project. And as if this wasn’t enough, I wanted to do this all in English, even though it’s my second language, and I was aware that this is going to be really tough. But well, my manic self wanted to manage this huge project and launch the website within two weeks on my Tumblr blogs “birthday”. Hence, I rolled up my sleeves and went to work.

Failure After Failure

How shall I put it? I didn’t keep my first deadline and extended it. But I didn’t keep the second deadline either. My manic episode passed by. I realized that this project was way too much for me, but I already had spent a lot of money on it and also told so many people about it that I had to go through with it.

I was working on the website from May till November. By its launch, I already had such great doubts about the project, that I was struggling to just share it with people. I didn’t even share it on Tumblr, which would have probably brought me a lot of traffic. I posted some pictures on Instagram and Twitter, and that’s it. I was so worn out and desperate that I gave the project up before it had really started. In the end, I just had published it because I didn’t want to admit to myself that I had wasted a lot of time, work, and money.

At that night when I came up with the idea, I also had thought that with that big project I could earn some money. But months later I realized that it was a stupid idea. It was way too complicated to monetize an English website if you live in Germany. I also had underestimated the time factor of writing proper articles in a foreign language. Meanwhile, I shake my head about my nativity and blindness. Why didn’t I think about such things before I started? It would have saved a lot of time and money.

And Now?

However, I want to give this blog a second chance. I’m currently working on a German blog about introversion and high sensitivity. I want to focus on a German audience, but I plan to translate some of my articles into English and publish them here as well.

Besides, instead of trying to compete with Introvert, Dear (which is impossible as a single blogger), I want to give this website a more personal note. I will blog about my everyday life as an introvert more instead of sharing how-to articles.

However, I’d like to apologize that I haven’t been active here for months. I will do my best to revive this blog and entertain you a little with my personal stories about my humble, introverted, and awkward self.

All the best,

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